( & LILLI ; )
At the redhead’s bidding, Lilli stepped into the break room and shut the door with her foot for some privacy. Ultimately she ended up shutting it in another reaper’s face and she could hear his indignant huff on the other side of the door. Poor man. He would get over it.“I wanted to talk about what you said the other day. About myself and William.” She shyly approached the table and sat down opposite the reaper so that she could gauge her expression while she spoke. “And I realize that what you said, well, some of it wasn’t too far from the truth. I should make more time to see you when I’m in the office, even if it’s meeting you during your lunch hour. I should make as much time to see you as you make time to see me and I’m sorry I didn’t see that before.”
≺ ❤ ≻
THE REAPER’S FACE remained set as the other woman spoke, facing away from her, expression deliberately neutral, if still rather cold. she had not been looking for an apology (though lord knew she owed one to lilli as well), and she did not know how to take it.
mostly, she was too proud to accept it. but, perhaps, she owed lilli the truth, as well.
❝ i’m not quite sure you understand some of the subtleties that come with being me, ❞ the words were spoken quietly and slowly, as though she were picking them one by one. she was. ❝ i’m a jealous woman. and i am a woman, i know this. ❞ the redhead paused, opening her mouth to speak again and closing it again, pursing her lips, choosing her words. ❝ ——but i don’t always feel on the same level as– other women. ❞
❝ and you can say it’s not true, william says the same– but it’s not something you, or him, or anyone, can soothe with words. it doesn’t go away because it’s part of who i am. and i don’t always deal with it the best way. ❞
finally she turned to the blonde woman, face set and expression hard. ❝ i’m sorry for lashing out. i got jealous and insecure and it got the best of me. ❞ she looked away again, staring at the distance and worrying her bottom lip for a moment. ❝ the truth is, i don’t always feel like i’m– worthy of him, i don’t always feel like he’s going to stay with me forever. i was jealous. ❞
